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     with Kathleen

Who’s carrying your disappointments?

I was speaking at a Christian gathering a couple weeks ago where I shared about the disappointment of Wayne’s death (my late husband).

Most of you reading this knew me when I was a “we” in a wonderful marriage to Wayne Dillard. When he dropped dead on the floor right after his 58th birthday, I thought the Lord might resurrect him. When that didn’t happen and 1000 new decisions rushed to my front door about life, work, the ministry and my broken heart…I was DISAPPOINTED.

And that disappointment lingered. About 1 year into this shift from ‘we’ to ‘me’ I was driving down a highway when the Lord suddenly asked, “Where have you put the disappointment of Wayne’s passing?”

Why this is important is because disappointments will always find a spot to land. The tricky thing is who is carrying the weight and the sting of them?

I thought for a minute and said, “I just shoved it back there somewhere.” Then the Lord said something unexpected, “I want you to put it in a treasure box and place it before Me and watch me beautify this suffering.”

Your disappointment might be life altering, like mine. Or it may be smaller but still real. I’d like to share 5 steps on what to do with disappointment so it doesn’t get the best of you but instead you end up getting the best out of it. Are you ready?

  1. Do not bury your disappointment while it is still stinging inside you. Take time to unpack it before the Lord. And get professional counseling if it’s an extreme case.
  2. God cares for you. Let your heart be exposed to His healing light. Turn on worship music or the audio Bible and rest and receive spiritual watering from this.
  3. Put the weight of your disappointment on God. Don’t carry it. He will. Don’t complain about it. Or worry. Or spin around in fear. Shove the weight of it onto God. He will help you do this.
  4. Our God heals. He may use people or circumstances in the process but He is a healer and He loves you.

    “My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” ~Ps. 73:26

  5. He brings beauty from ashes. Whatever disappointment you might be facing, you have a living God who is active on your behalf.

    “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.” ~Ps. 30:11-12

I am still on the journey of God bringing beauty from ashes. And I am so grateful that I am not alone.

These are simple steps from my journey. And though they are simple, they are also powerful. Do them.

You are a citizen of the Kingdom of Heaven and as such God has created a way for you not only to survive but also (in time) to thrive.

Sending you hugs today and a batch of divine grace if these words are speaking to you.

I’d like to close with a verse from a song:

“Awake my soul to sing, With Your breath in me
I will worship, You taught my feet
To dance upon disappointment
And I, I will worship” ~Amanda Cook, song “Heroes”

In His love and mine,

Kathleen
Kathleen Dillard

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  1. Judy Peterson
    November 5th, 2017 | #1

    Dear Kathleen,
    What a wonderful message.
    My son and daughter in law are having marital problems so I’m forwarding this to them and also to a friend who husband died on Christmas Eve last year. She’s really struggling.
    Thanks for all you do and for you faithfulness and courage and for listening to the Spirit as he guides you.
    God bless you,
    Judy

  2. Peter Hovis
    November 4th, 2017 | #2

    Amen!

  3. Joyce
    November 4th, 2017 | #3

    Oh Kathleen, beautiful and wise words to help us grow and heal in grace during disappointment and grief!
    Our time on this leg of our journey is too brief to waste it—the steps you outlined help us move forward with God.
    Blessings to you my friend!

  4. Linda Hand
    November 3rd, 2017 | #4

    Hi Kathleen
    I remember when you were a “we.”
    Today I had a panic thought who will I have to tell when
    Something bad happens on my life (car breakdown ie)
    My Dad passed away 2 months ago. With my Mom also not alive
    No siblings, children, or husband….
    your words so helpful today!!
    Love you so much…always have!!! L-h

  5. Betty Fowler
    November 2nd, 2017 | #5

    Beautiful!

  6. Lucy Adams
    November 2nd, 2017 | #6

    My grief, is discovering I have two clogged arteries in my brain. Memory is getting difficult too. But I feel alright – and I do not need to worry, as I take my blood thinner medicine. I do fear though, memory may get worse.
    Now they have found a very small skin cancer spot on my leg. So it can easily be removed as it is not deep. That is to be in two weeks, but I worry too easily. I trust our Jesus as our great Physician. And it helps to share and ask for your prayers. Thank you for sharing your grief and God’s blessings -I know are on your ministry. Lucy 52hymns.com

  7. Bonnie Soteropolis
    November 2nd, 2017 | #7

    Thank you so much for sharing this. A lady in our church, just lost her husband Sept 8th. They had been married 50 years and went to Hawaii for a vacation to celebrate. After returning, he “suddenly” started having pain in his chest. He & she were very stringent about healthy eating, exercise & he had no known illnesses. He went to the Dr & was diagnosed with mesothelioma. Much prayer 4 his healing ensued, but he died in a few weeks. Saw a video of a survivor of torture from Syria. He had converted to christianity. He wasn’t spared most of the torture. But he reached a point where he ask to be taken home early, because he felt he would break when they brought 3 dogs in to attack him. They brought 3 different sets, of 3 dogs to attack him because no matter how hard they beat the dogs, they would not attack him. One actually licked him on his face like a kiss. He was spared the dogs, but not the rest which was brutal & a wonder he lived. Then there was a lady who could not walk & had to use her arms & hands to drag herself on the ground to get around. She received prayer from a missionary but only 1 leg was healed. She then could use a stick (like a crutch) to get around. She was ecstatic having received that much. The missionary kept paying hoping for both legs to be healed before they left,but it didn’t happen. All Jesus said to the team re this person was ‘don’t ask me anymore why. Be glad for what did occur. The woman didn’t have an issue with what didn’t happen, she was thankful 4 what did. This has given me much to think about concerning my life here,my commitment to Jesus,& “real trust”. What does it look like for me & maybe a new perspective is necessary! Many times there is no “understanding” or “box” to put situations in. We just do or don’t. However I will pass this on to my friend at church. Jesus will speak to her through Kathleen’s message better than I can.

  8. Jeanne Layman
    November 2nd, 2017 | #8

    Thank you Kathleen for your comforting words. I was just thing about you today when I heard about the explosion in India. I pray that you were not near where it was and that none of your friends were injured. Thanks again for all the work you do for those that need to find Jesus. I also pray for your daughters every time I get the prayers for the war zones. Thanks again my faithful friend. I pray the Lord continues to bless your work. Your friend in Christ.
    Jeanne

  9. Shirley
    November 2nd, 2017 | #9

    Thank you I did not no your husband only thur pray and I miss him too I all way loved what he wrote God Bless

  10. Katie
    November 2nd, 2017 | #10

    Oh, that is a good word! The Lord has just been teaching me about taking my pain to Jesus instead of trying to deal with it through all my soul mechanisms (ignore, stuff, analyze, blame, etc). When I give my pain to Him, He makes it His own and grants me to be one who shares the sufferings of Christ, with all the blessings and lessons that brings. What you have written, Kathleen, is another beautiful facet to this lesson. I will treasure what you have shared!

  11. Marilyn
    November 2nd, 2017 | #11

    What a beautiful picture of Fall leaves and thoughts on handling disappointments, which we all face at one time or another. Thanks and God Bless you and your daughters!!! You are always such an encouragement to me!!!

  12. Sunny
    November 2nd, 2017 | #12

    This will be remarkably helpful to legions of people. Thank you so much and I am so sorry for your loss.

  13. Marie
    November 2nd, 2017 | #13

    Thank you so much for sharing that pain. I am so sorry for your loss. I too am a widow, and I am morning another loss of family and grandchildren now, who have moved far far away, and do not reach out. Your transparency in your pain is encouraging to those of us who are in difficult situations. Thank you for your reminders to trust God. And to seek his word. May he bless you in your work. With love and prayers, Marie

  14. Judith A Artlip-Kelley
    November 2nd, 2017 | #14

    I believe that I have shared this prayer request before but I am sharing it again!
    My husband, Frank , was a Christian when we were first married.
    A month before our first child was born, Frank turned his life against our Lord, proclaiming that he no longer was a believer.
    We have been married for 50 years this December.
    We have two wonderful loving daughters that walk as Christians and are raising their families as Christian! .
    I am truly blessed in this fact!
    But, Frank has not returned his heart and life back to Christ yet! I know he will as my God has shown me and I believe that one day Frank will come back to Jesus and worship our Lord and Savior!
    Thank you for your ministry. I have been with you folks for many years and support it. I love all of your prayers! They are so solid in Jesus. May you continue on in serving our Lord as you have in the past! You are a reflection of Jesus and for this I am blessed!

  15. Carol
    November 2nd, 2017 | #15

    Thank you. I am in the process of processing multiple things, and need this assurance desperately.